Compass

I love your unpredictable and transparent self. You are dependable in that you always produce, but I have recently come to notice that there are only some cases of your purest form. During my first week in London I was emerged in the rush of things as I hurried through the tube when your sounds spoke through the crowd. You grabbed ahold of me again as I walked down the Thames river, throwing any need to reach my destination out the door. Your ability to produce not over the commotion but separate from it while simultaneously working with it opens the doors for others to join into this time stopping creation.

I just spent 48 hours in Edinburgh, Scotland where I thought rolling hills and bag pipes might take the cake. Instead I found the highlight of my weekend to be the true, traditional Scottish music that was performed in the comfort of two particularly cozy pubs. To me, The Royal Oak and Rabbie Burns mean Scotland; Scotland added its own touch of drawl, humor, and storytelling to create its own culture of live music. I won’t forget how I felt so restful sitting there, technically surrounded by strangers and only ten day old friends, but feeling comfortable as ever. I still have moments where I feel somewhat uncomfortable, not in a bad way but there is just a lot of newness to everything, but here I didn’t feel even a pinge of that. And I could have stayed there all night.

I don’t ever want to return to these places again. Yes, if we really got down to it I would love to see that unpredictable and somewhat crazy older man sing about seeing the pandas or hear the three brothers perform their storytelling folklore again someday, but only as a new memory; Returning to the same pub is something I’d be against. Not because they weren’t the highlights of my Scotland trip or moments I’ll never forget, but because these are not memories I’d like a second chance at.

My mom once told me not to worry about “doing it all” because these are places (specifically speaking of my home countries: London, Paris, & Rome) I could possibly visit again and I don’t need to live with any pressure to fill an entire bucket with my memory receipts. But I’m not here to cash in my bucket list and I’m not worried about ever coming back. I love to travel; adventuring without knowing and walking on aching feet and taking breaks on random café couches is something I know I’ll never tire of. But I’m not here to live for the return! And if I never get the chance to come back to any of these places I have no right, nor desire, to complain because one I was already given them once and two my only responsibility is to live every moment (a quote taken from the threshold of the Rabbie Burns pubs). Living every moment isn’t just about taking in moments of overseas travel with all six senses. It literally means “LIVE every moment.”

I am reminded of this ‘living’ every time my ears funnel in these golden soundwaves. It causes me to pause, whether that be physically, mentally, or both, it just depends. Live music, you have your own playing field and I’m looking forward to your continued company throughout Europe.

I hope I can bring your presence back in spirit and continue to live wherever I reside; live, just live.

I’m still working on it,

But you’re a helpful accountability partner.

Riley Makenna